apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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