Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize