Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
