can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
