I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
