Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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