I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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