Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize