OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My vagina is very pro this idea
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
