I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
