shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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