I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
