so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Ladies don't puke and tell
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
