but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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