i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
