He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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