Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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