hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
