I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
