I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
