How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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