We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
