Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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