so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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