Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
