He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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