but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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