she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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