i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize