Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
