You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
