I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
