The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
