you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
