If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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