Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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