Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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