Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize