She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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