Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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