My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
