I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
