You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
