its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
