i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
