my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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