the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
