i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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