hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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