it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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