we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
