i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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