If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize