Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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