I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
only you would photoshop your dick
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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