he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
