Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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