This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
