I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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