did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
