it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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